grief upon grief

it's too much

I’ve started at least three different newsletters this week, but everything I write seems so trite and pointless in light of this week in the news - and that was before I woke up to a mass shooting in our city. If it’s too much for me - a suburban white woman - I can’t imagine how my Black, brown, and indigenous neighbors are coping.

Prop said this on Twitter yesterday, and it feels about right as we approach the year anniversary of most of us learning about and being outraged by Ahmaud Arbery’s murder:

Prop @prophiphop

Seems like the only thing that kept us away from these bullets was quarantining

So I’m just going to share some stuff that has been really helpful to my anti-racism education over the last few years in case it’s helpful for you too. Add your suggestions in the comments, so we can help each other. Reading isn’t enough, but it’s a start. I’m also matching donations to this Black therapy fund up to $250. Reply to this email with a screenshot of your donation too, and we’ll match it.

Books

An American Marriage: I’m a big believer in story as a way of getting people to care about a subject/issue (this is why I recommend people that don’t know or care about climate change read environmental fiction instead of non-fiction because I think it is more compelling and empathy-building), and An American Marriage is a great place to start. Tayari Jones masterful storytelling makes it so the reader can’t help but see themselves in both Celestial and Roy - and see how their story is such a common Black American one.

The Hate U Give: Another fiction rec that is straight out of the headlines and gives insight into so many racist tropes that Black people face everyday.

Between the World and Me. Ta-Nehisi Coates’ instant classic should be required reading. In this letter of sorts to his newborn son, he made me contemplate things I had never considered about Black bodies, about our country itself, and about my ignorance.

I’m Still Here. Grant and I went to the first Evolving Faith where we heard three of the best sermons of our lives - all by Black or Latina women, the first of whom was Austin Channing Brown who was about to publish I’m Still Here at the time. This book made me very uncomfortable the first time through, but it also opened my eyes to so much.

These Truths. This might be a strange one to include on this list, but part of my re-education efforts have been dismantling so much of what I was taught about America growing up, in schools and at home. The premise of These Truths is that we as a nation have never really lived up to our ideals about ourselves. Lepore writes a more honest account of the American experiment - the good and the bad. It’s the history book every American should read.

Me and White Supremacy. Layla Saad’s book is more of a book that you do than one that you read - and that’s the power of it. I’ve been through it twice now and am probably due for a third time. I learn new layers about my own biases and racist tendencies each time.

Podcasts

When Grant and I were heavy into deconstruction, we listened to a ton of podcasts “together” - not physically, but at the same time. It was easier to discuss the stuff we were learning that way because we didn’t have to wait on the other one to finish an entire book. I think podcasts are a great way to go about your anti-racist education in community for the same reason - pick a podcast or series to listen to together, and then discuss.

Seeing White by Scene on Radio. The premise of this series is that part of the problem for white people is that we don’t “see whiteness,” and if we can’t see it, we can’t see the power and privilege dynamics in play. I felt like this series was a college level class in institutional racism in America.

1619. Somehow this whole project has gotten a little controversial (thanks, Trump), but the podcast was brilliantly done and illustrates “the long shadow of American slavery” in ways you’ve probably never thought about before.

Behind the Police. I listened to this series last summer. When I first heard “defund the police,” I thought the people saying it were going too far, but not after I listened to this history of the policing system in America.

Throughline. Throughline’s tagline is “we go back in time to understand the present,” and there are some truly great episodes to do just that. Go back through their archive - you can’t go wrong.

Intersectionality Matters. I somehow found this pod after this video with Kimberly Jones went viral after George Floyd’s murder. I’m fascinated by the idea of intersectionality, and it gives me so much hope.

Nice White Parents. Ugh, this made me squirm and opened my eyes.

Movies/docs

I’m going to share this list instead because all of these are great recommendations. Marie’s recommendations are great too.

Other stuff

If you have family members who are still resistant to white privilege or systemic racism, I think Phil Vischer’s video series is super helpful and compelling.

I share some more resources on this older post.

I share some of my favorite social media follows on this post. I think social media, if you’re going to use it, is a great way to diversify your inputs. Don’t just follow explicitly anti-racism accounts; follow Black gardeners and Indigenous poets and Latino cooks, and see how your perspective expands - and how much good content they’re sharing.

A blessing

Via Kaitlin Curtice, a Potawatomi writer and speaker:

A prayer for today:
God of whatever the hell this is,
God of humanity tearing each other to shreds,
God of police brutality and
The too-young dead,
God of those who colonize and corrupt,
God of the sacred earth,
What the hell are we supposed to do now?

Sacredness that envelops thread-bare mothers
and exhausted workers,
Who holds the incarcerated and
The immigrant and the protestor,
And does not forget the deeply wounded ones—
How the hell do we heal?
Mother Mystery who doesn’t turn away from injustice,
Who tells the queer and outcast that they always belonged,
Who puts ableism, racism and sexism in their place and declares there were never heathens to begin with—

Why the hell does it all hurt so much?

God,
Sacredness,
Mother Mystery,
if our existence is truly resistance,
Help us know how to resist—today and for the rest of our days,
because we sure as hell can’t do it on our own.

Hoping you find some joy and rest this weekend,

Sara