sifting season
I listened to this recap from Beth at Pantsuit Politics about her lessons from Anne Helen Petersen’s Can’t Even (read it pronto). Beth shared all sorts of great things, but what stuck out to me most was how she described that she is in a season of subtraction. Covid has been such a disruptor for everyone, and our capacities have diminished in light of all that we’ve been through and are still carrying.
Grant and I keep saying that Covid has been a “sifting season” for us, meaning that Covid has helped us sift out what and who are really important to us versus what we were doing out of obligation or guilt or fear. It has been an opportunity for us to really contemplate what is worth giving our time and energy to and what is not. As we come up on a year anniversary of quarantine, we are still sitting with what has been sifted - trying to grieve what - and who - we’ve lost and trying to be open to how carefully and intentionally what - and who - we want to slowly add back in on the other side of things.
The hardest part of adulting, for me, is choosing between two or three good things. It’s easy to make a decision when the alternative is obviously a poor choice. For example, it’s easy for me to say no to volunteering to help our accountant at church because details are not my friend, and it would be a disaster for all involved. It’s harder for me to say no to teaching more yoga classes because I truly enjoy doing it and believe I bring something valuable to my students, but I also need margin to be around in the evenings with Grant and the kids. Both good choices, but I have to choose which is more important to me and more in alignment with my values.
Covid has taken away some of those choices, forcing us to see what and who we actually miss, forcing (or inviting?) us into a season of sifting our lives, leaving us to reflect on what is actually essential, what we actually enjoy doing individually and as a family, the relationships that are life giving versus life draining, what we actually want for our lives. Our culture tends to tell us that more is better, when many of us have experienced how living out that mentality leads to burnout, anxiety, dissatisfaction, depression. Many of us are learning that subtraction and surrender are typically the way to more peace, more presence, more joy.
We’re all exhausted lately (and we should be - it’s winter, and we’ve been living through a pandemic for nearly a year!), and it seems everywhere I go, I hear people talking about how “over it” they are. I get it. Feel your feelings and all that.
But.
I also think that, if we just jump right back into our old lives once enough people get vaccinated that we can return to some kind of new normal, we’re missing out on a real opportunity to sit with and reflect on the many, many lessons that Covid has offered and is offering us. Covid is an invitation - individually, familially, communally, and, even, globally - to sift through the shoulds, the old stories we’ve told ourselves, the relationships that take more than they give - to determine what we don’t have to pick back up.
Rants and raves
👍 I started listening to this Robcast series a few months ago, but, to be honest, Trace a little bit annoys me. However, I tried again this week and raced through all four episodes. If you skipped them too, their explanation of the evolution of consciousness was super helpful to me. I’ve tried to learn this stuff for years and have had trouble getting it to stick, but Rob - and Trace! - are really good teachers. These conversations unlocked some personal patterns that I’ve been struggling with for years if that helps incentivize you to listen!
👍 I shared a snippet of this on Instagram, but I really like the way Katerina Baratta teaches and communicates. I’ve learned all of these quick tips for dealing with stress and anxiety before, but I appreciated how she connected them together.
👍 The cold and the snow. I have grown to love the winter, but I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed one as much as I have this one. It’s amazing what really embracing living seasonally will do to a person! 😜
👍 Our trails have been skating rinks, and I completely - like cartoon style - bit it last week and had to hobble home. Then I remembered a few years ago, I had bought some ice cleat things like these at Costco on clearance, but I had never used them. They are magical, and now I have ordered a pair for Grant and the kids. File this in my “no bad weather, only bad clothing/gear” file.
👍 A new sound machine. Grant has always slept with a sound machine - he was taking his sleep very seriously a decade before I’d ever heard the phrase “sleep hygiene:” no lights in the room allowed, the temperature has to be borderline frigid, and there must be white noise. Our previous sound machine conked out a few weeks ago, and I bought this one to replace it. It is lovely. I think our old one must have been on its last legs for awhile because this one has us sleeping better and more deeply even after just a few weeks. It’s a good reminder of how something so small can make a big difference.
👎 I’m obviously incredulous at how many Senate Republicans aren’t taking the January 6th insurrection seriously. Do a thought experiment on what the Senate Republicans would be doing if Hillary Clinton were president and had done even a fraction of what Trump did and said leading up to and on January 6th. But also I don’t understand why most Republicans aren’t thinking more strategically about this whole thing - wouldn’t it be better for them to move into the power vacuum Trump has left right now while he’s hamstrung on social media and ensure that he doesn’t run again?! I mean, obviously convicting him is the ethical and Constitutional thing to do, but it seems like the smart political move for their own political futures too. I don’t get it.
Stuff worth sharing this week
This made me LOL, but also made me think (there should be a German word for that uniquely wonderful combination).
I’ve been trying to only read Black authors this month and turning over #wendellforwednesday to Black environmentalists for Black History Month. In doing so, I came across Dr. John Francis, and now I want to be his friend and a planetwalker. Watch his TED talk. I ordered his book from the library, so I’ll report back.
I know you’ve seen the cat filter Zoom video, but I haven’t laughed that hard in what felt like a year, and I just wanted to share it again because I can.
Grant and I watched the Free Britney thing from the NYT on Hulu, and while I can’t say it left me warm and fuzzy by any stretch, it did lead to some good conversations about misogyny, celebrity culture, parenting, and how much has changed in the last twenty years.
Seasonal view of the week
Several days these last few weeks, I’ve been the only footprints on the trail after a light snowfall overnight. I get out there pretty early, but the person on this fat tire bike always beats me. I want to meet them.
Cheers to sifting season!
Sara