I am lucky to have those friends. I moved away and then felt lonely. I tried making more friends and have a few but I decided to make time to visit my good friends once a month or so, and that has helped. Even if my drive is as long as the time we spend together.
Good for you for making time. We don’t see how to prioritize friendship modeled much around us, but I love that you’re doing it even if it doesn’t make “sense” in terms of drive time.
Well I listen to music or a podcast and make the best of it. I've started playing Dungeons and Dragons one a month with old friends and sometimes I even get a hotel and then visit family before I head home. I think sometimes when lonely, we expect someone else do fix it, when we need to actively work to do it ourselves. Or we ignore the friends we do have.
I think you're onto something with the part that requires our participation or even instigation, as well as ignoring the connections we already have - and maybe deciding to make a little more effort to take them from acquaintance to friend.
I think too that, as kids, friendship is so much more organic that we often don't see it as a skill that you have to develop as you get older because the opportunities and space for friendship has to be carved out.
We have friends from college that do D&D with friends once a month, and it turns into this whole day long affair that looks super fun from my vantage point. I love that you're out here making a weekend out of your visits. It's like mini vacations that probably leave you feeling very rejuvenated too.
This was helpful Sara. It brought up a a few things for me. One -how I can’t wait to read the gifts of imperfection because it keeps showing up 2- why I miss my dear friend, who moved away and why it’s harder to lose a friend that used to live next-door 3. how grateful I am for the weekly walks that I take with one of my friends and how I can remind myself that it is OK if we have nothing to talk about, which is usually not the case. I wrote a post last week on nothing that I think you might like. I revisit it in my post tomorrow.
Just read your most recent post and loved it! So many tangential thoughts.
I am sorry your next door friend moved - that is hard. I wanted to write about how proximity matters so much when it comes to friends, but I had already written so many words.
Love this... especially the part about what hanging out really is!
Wish we could hang out and chat about it! :)
I am lucky to have those friends. I moved away and then felt lonely. I tried making more friends and have a few but I decided to make time to visit my good friends once a month or so, and that has helped. Even if my drive is as long as the time we spend together.
Good for you for making time. We don’t see how to prioritize friendship modeled much around us, but I love that you’re doing it even if it doesn’t make “sense” in terms of drive time.
Well I listen to music or a podcast and make the best of it. I've started playing Dungeons and Dragons one a month with old friends and sometimes I even get a hotel and then visit family before I head home. I think sometimes when lonely, we expect someone else do fix it, when we need to actively work to do it ourselves. Or we ignore the friends we do have.
I think you're onto something with the part that requires our participation or even instigation, as well as ignoring the connections we already have - and maybe deciding to make a little more effort to take them from acquaintance to friend.
I think too that, as kids, friendship is so much more organic that we often don't see it as a skill that you have to develop as you get older because the opportunities and space for friendship has to be carved out.
We have friends from college that do D&D with friends once a month, and it turns into this whole day long affair that looks super fun from my vantage point. I love that you're out here making a weekend out of your visits. It's like mini vacations that probably leave you feeling very rejuvenated too.
Thank you. It's working, so far. Sometimes you need to be the change. It might not have worked, but at least I would have tried!
So much and I will comment more soon but the Mary Oliver song on your awesome hang out playlist you graciously shared! Love!!
I looove that song. Happy you’re listening - feels like we’re hanging out in some weird way across the miles!
This was helpful Sara. It brought up a a few things for me. One -how I can’t wait to read the gifts of imperfection because it keeps showing up 2- why I miss my dear friend, who moved away and why it’s harder to lose a friend that used to live next-door 3. how grateful I am for the weekly walks that I take with one of my friends and how I can remind myself that it is OK if we have nothing to talk about, which is usually not the case. I wrote a post last week on nothing that I think you might like. I revisit it in my post tomorrow.
Just read your most recent post and loved it! So many tangential thoughts.
I am sorry your next door friend moved - that is hard. I wanted to write about how proximity matters so much when it comes to friends, but I had already written so many words.
And your weekly friend walk is goals!