A few weeks ago, I was late to picking up a kid at something (this is not unusual so I can’t remember what it was), and across the street, I saw a mama duck and her ducklings. They had made it across the four lane street, but the ducklings couldn’t make it up the curb. I was trying to figure out how to turn around to see if I could help them, but I was stuck because there was a median and the aforementioned child was waiting and probably annoyed. I just sent up a little prayer that someone would help the duck, but the thought of all of those little ducklings struggling so hard to jump that curb to get where their mama was stayed with me.
Fast forward to this week: I was coming home from dropping off a child from camp, and I noticed a large, lumbering turtle crossing the road. I had to get back for a meeting, but I wasn’t going to let the turtle turn into another duckling situation that I was thinking about for weeks afterward. I stopped and put my flashers on in an effort to “set a pick” for my turtle so that cars wouldn’t hit him, but I must’ve scared him and he just stopped in the middle of the road and didn’t move. As I got out of the car, a BMW pulled up behind me and honked. I’m pretty sure he could see the turtle because it was huge, but he was not happy about being momentarily detoured for my turtle saving mission.
I pointed to the turtle so that BMW guy would make sure to avoid it and pulled onto a nearby street where I could park and run back to help the turtle. I gently picked him up and carried him toward the creek where it seemed like he was headed.
That night, as we went around the dinner table, I shared that my turtle mission was the rose of my day. On that particular day, I had actually had a very productive day of work, had made dinner, and had gotten a mountain of laundry done that had been sitting in the dryer for far too long. I realized that - by far - the most important thing I had done that day besides possibly feed my family was save that turtle. The stuff on my to do list that I had accomplished would fade from memory by the end of the week, if not sooner. The laundry is never done. I’ll make thousands more dinners. But it isn’t unreasonable that I’ll still be thinking about that turtle occasionally ten years from now.
Here was my aha moment: I want more space, more margin in my life to be the turtle lady. I don’t want to turn into the BMW guy.
I want slower. I want lingering and sauntering.
I want less schedules, less doing, less have tos, less shoulds.
I want more presence, more paying attention, more being, more pleasure.
I want to be that “someone of ease / Who feels they have all the time in the world” in O’Donohue’s blessing.
Rants and raves
👍 I found Heather Cox Richardson because of the Trump administration and needing a historian’s perspective to balance out my anxiety. I’m sure I’ve raved about her before, but I think I appreciate her even more these days because, since there isn’t a month's worth of news each day, she can dig more deeply into the historical context of what is going on. You’re missing out if you aren’t learning from her.
👍 I do this breathing practice when I can’t sleep at night. It’s been a stressful few weeks, so I’ve been using it ALOT. You inhale for a count of four, pause, and then exhale for a count of eight, pause, and repeat. I like to do it at least twelve times for a “set.” Anytime we extend our exhale longer than our inhale, it triggers our parasympathetic nervous system (the rest, digest, restorative part), so it’s extra helpful at night when you’re trying to go back to sleep and put the brakes on the train wreck of your catastrophizing thoughts at 3AM. That’s probably just me though, huh?
👎 I loooove an excuse to celebrate, but I really dislike forced celebrations like Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. I can’t figure myself out. What does it meeeean?!
Stuff worth sharing this week
I finally got around to my what I’m learning and loving post for May, just in time to start thinking about the June post. But it’s worth reading if you ask me!
I really loved this conversation and can’t stop thinking about it, especially that England is likely in the last thirty years of experiencing the annual nightingale song, the languages we’ve already lost, and how alive Sam sounded as he spoke throughout the interview.
My current work from home schedule allows much more time for short walks to clear my head, a yoga break or three, dog snuggle breaks, and just getting up more often and doing weird stretches on the floor. All of which are really good for our bodies. Reading this article about how the computer is breaking our bodies made me think that this is another aspect of post-pandemic life that we have the opportunity to reimagine - if we’re willing.
I listened to this episode of Terrible, Thanks For Asking a few weeks ago and have referenced it in at least twenty conversations since I first listened. The impetus for the episode was this Atlantic article, which I also keep thinking about. The premise of the article and podcast episode is what we’ve lost by no longer “allowing” nervous breakdowns:
For 80 years or so, proclaiming that you were having a nervous breakdown was a legitimized way of declaring a sort of temporary emotional bankruptcy in the face of modern life’s stresses. John D. Rockefeller Jr., Jane Addams, and Max Weber all had acknowledged “breakdowns,” and reemerged to do their best work. Provided you had the means—a rather big proviso—announcing a nervous breakdown gave you license to withdraw, claiming an excess of industry or sensitivity or some other virtue. And crucially, it focused the cause of distress on the outside world and its unmeetable demands. You weren’t crazy; the world was. [emphasis mine]As a 1947 headline in the New York Herald Tribune put it: “Modern World Viewed as Too Much for Man.”
Seasonal pic of the week
Wendell has the “zoomies” every night around 8ish no matter what we do with him the rest of the day. So nearly every night, we take him on a walk around Funky Farms at sunset to get his zoomies out, and, as a side bonus for us, it’s become a highlight of the day.
Cheers to finding ways to be your version of the turtle lady in the week ahead!
Sara
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