I have had similar difficulties during the pandemic, but many of mine center more on having to remain out in front of the public when I didn't really feel it was all that safe to be ... but that's a different subject.
I'm thinking about routine, as it is a subject a friend of mine were discussing earlier this week. Neither she nor I, like you, are fans of routine. I think we all want to see ourselves as freewheeling, spontaneous, etc. when the entire world wants to hammer us into a fixed existence. But I think there is a difference between routine and "practice." For example, what I might call my morning routine is my practice of various things. Meditation, some writing, etc. That feels necessary, and somehow different, than just doing the same stuff over and over.
Even responding to you now is different. This is more routine; checking my social media, responding to messages, etc. It's not even entirely necessary the way the other morning things I do are. I could do it at any point in the day—which I sometimes am forced to do with the practice stuff too, but it eats at my peace of mind all day when that happens—and it doesn't really matter.
I don't know. I haven't really thought it through. What do you think?
I could hide at home for much of the pandemic, and I kept thinking of what a privilege it was, feeling guilty about it but also not really sure what to do about it. We just collectively failed so many of our fellow citizens this year. Even my husband who is in healthcare and has a very flexible job felt pressured to get back out there before I would have wanted him to. I think there is so much to be angry about from 2020 and that is a big one. Ugh, will look forward to reading more of your thoughts on that topic.
Yesss, more routine-haters! That always makes me feel more normal. I too try to use the word practice versus routine. It tells my brain that 1) it's a process not a destination and 2) practice almost implies lots of screwing up/trial and error.
You nailed it for me though - there are some things that really eat at me all day long when I don't do them first thing, namely journaling/brain dump, some kind of movement, and "sitting." (i.e. what I call my meditation practice so that my brain doesn't get hung up on the baggage that comes with meditation). It annoys me that I can have a great day otherwise, but if I miss those things, I beat myself up about it. Or they hang over my head all day, which seems like a dumb use of energy and mental space. I'm not sure what the answer to that is other than more self-compassion (or just doing the damn things in the first place!).
I read "The Power of Ritual" a few weeks ago, which was really good. The author said ritual is anything we do consistently with attention and intention. So that means we could elevate brushing our teeth to ritual if we brought with it attention and intention. I'm trying to figure out how to "ritualize" more of the regular stuff I do. It seems like white Americans like me have lots to observe from the Indigenous cultures that do a much better job of making the so-called mundane more sacred/set apart?
I have had similar difficulties during the pandemic, but many of mine center more on having to remain out in front of the public when I didn't really feel it was all that safe to be ... but that's a different subject.
I'm thinking about routine, as it is a subject a friend of mine were discussing earlier this week. Neither she nor I, like you, are fans of routine. I think we all want to see ourselves as freewheeling, spontaneous, etc. when the entire world wants to hammer us into a fixed existence. But I think there is a difference between routine and "practice." For example, what I might call my morning routine is my practice of various things. Meditation, some writing, etc. That feels necessary, and somehow different, than just doing the same stuff over and over.
Even responding to you now is different. This is more routine; checking my social media, responding to messages, etc. It's not even entirely necessary the way the other morning things I do are. I could do it at any point in the day—which I sometimes am forced to do with the practice stuff too, but it eats at my peace of mind all day when that happens—and it doesn't really matter.
I don't know. I haven't really thought it through. What do you think?
I could hide at home for much of the pandemic, and I kept thinking of what a privilege it was, feeling guilty about it but also not really sure what to do about it. We just collectively failed so many of our fellow citizens this year. Even my husband who is in healthcare and has a very flexible job felt pressured to get back out there before I would have wanted him to. I think there is so much to be angry about from 2020 and that is a big one. Ugh, will look forward to reading more of your thoughts on that topic.
Yesss, more routine-haters! That always makes me feel more normal. I too try to use the word practice versus routine. It tells my brain that 1) it's a process not a destination and 2) practice almost implies lots of screwing up/trial and error.
You nailed it for me though - there are some things that really eat at me all day long when I don't do them first thing, namely journaling/brain dump, some kind of movement, and "sitting." (i.e. what I call my meditation practice so that my brain doesn't get hung up on the baggage that comes with meditation). It annoys me that I can have a great day otherwise, but if I miss those things, I beat myself up about it. Or they hang over my head all day, which seems like a dumb use of energy and mental space. I'm not sure what the answer to that is other than more self-compassion (or just doing the damn things in the first place!).
I read "The Power of Ritual" a few weeks ago, which was really good. The author said ritual is anything we do consistently with attention and intention. So that means we could elevate brushing our teeth to ritual if we brought with it attention and intention. I'm trying to figure out how to "ritualize" more of the regular stuff I do. It seems like white Americans like me have lots to observe from the Indigenous cultures that do a much better job of making the so-called mundane more sacred/set apart?
Thanks for reading and sharing, Chris.